A Pet's Ten Commandments

In honor of Bocci - can't believe it has already been 1 month. I miss you tons!


A Pet's Ten Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is probably going to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hard to believe Bocci has been gone almost three weeks and today marks 13 months for Bailey. Where does time go?

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I figured it's a good time to take note of the things I am thankful for (in no special order):

1. My caring husband and family - they put up with me after all!
2. Basil Baby
3. The presence of my folks - I feel blessed that they are 80 and still gracing this earth.
4. Minesweeper - love that game
5. My Blackberry - I am addicted
6. Desserts - need I say more? Yes, MORE desserts please!
7. My awesome friends
8. Snowmen - they always make me smile. Especially when I go into Home Depot and see the big, gigantic blow up Snowmen...now THAT makes me grin from ear to ear.
9. Our new home - I've had so much fun decorating and adding personal touches.
10. Pumpkin Spiced Lattes - YUM!

Happy Thanksgiving All!

Thank you

Thank you for the many thoughtful notes on the loss of Bocci. We all lose loved ones and it's comforting to know that friends are near for support.

It seems unreal that two weeks ago Bocci was healthy (as far as I knew) and thriving well for a 13 year old. Now she is gone and the house isn't the same. I have been beating myself up thinking that maybe there was more I could have done. It's crossed my mind a million times that I may have given up on Bocci before she gave up on me. I wanted to find that one slice of time that was not a moment too soon or a moment too late to let her go.

Bocci's absence has taken a toll on Basil. Many have noticed that she is not as perky and social. I know she misses her big sister who was also a pseudo mom.

The vet called this morning and Bocci's ashes are ready to be picked up. While I dread making that drive, it will be nice to have her here next to Bailey.

Thank you again for all of the warm emails and notes. Here is a snapshot of Bocci from 10 days ago...standing beside the fridge begging for a treat. :)

Rest in Peace Sweet Bocci

Our sweet Bocci Girl was laid to rest today at 2pm. This ordeal - albeit 10 days - has been pure torture. She was doing so good in the mind and maintained her daily routine of begging for treats with long naps in-between. Unfortunately, the mass was not cooperating and bleeding more each day.

I went back and forth all week on what to do...I kept thinking, "if I found her in pain, I would make the call." That would have been the easy (selfish) way out. Having been through this with Bailey, I didn't want Bocci to get to the point of severe pain and agony - yet, I wanted her to be with me for as long as possible. To think that your beloved animal's life is in your hands in not empowering...it is devastating. I asked God to give me a sign and early this afternoon, he did just that. I knew it was time and I put Bocci in the car. We stopped at McDonald's on the way to get her a Quarter Pounder and French Fries. She enjoyed every bite.

In the end, I wanted her to go with dignity and grace - just as she lived her life. The past few hours I have experienced the many stages of grief and now, I'm back at the first of denial. It just doesn't seem real. I keep thinking she is going to waltz into the bedroom and summon me to the kitchen for her late night snack.

Bocci was such a wonderful companion. She was loyal, patient, loving and funny. She blessed my life for 13 years and I already miss her terribly. She rarely asked for much (except treats) and happily lived in the shadows of Bailey and Basil. She seemed to find joy in their quirkiness and was content just being here. My heart just aches, someone please wake me from this horrible nightmare.

I love you so much, Bocci. I pray that you have found Bailey and that the two of you are running in the fields. Thank you for all the joy that you have brought to my life.

Update on Bocci

Thankfully, Bocci is still with us and feeling good. We brought her home from the ER Vet on Tuesday and have been giving her tons of TLC. She has a large, open mass near her anus (hate that word) that is not pretty. The sore bleeds at times, but we're able to keep it minimized with cold packs and powder from Petsmart.

I took her back to the vet on Friday and was told that if we can manage the sore, Bocci could be with us for some time. Since the meds were making her sick, we stopped all but the Tramadol (2x per day). She has been fabulous ever since and getting back to her old self. Ultimately, we know the cancer is growing, but since she is not in pain and her quality of life has not changed, we are going to cherish the time we have left. Having been down this path with Bailey, we opted to forgo surgery, chemo, etc. If it gets to the point where she is suffering, we will make the dreaded call. Until then, she is getting all sorts of treats and loving every bite.

One side note, Basil has been so good! I was worried about her pouncing/picking on Bocci like she has for the past year, but Basil must have a 6th sense and knows to leave Bocci alone.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and support!

Bocci - keep her in your prayers

We learned last night that Bocci has an aggressive form of cancer - likely hemangiosarcoma. What is it with this cancer?? Why can't it leave my family alone??

She was bleeding from the rear so Joe took her to the vet hoping it was a simple diagnosis. Unfortunately, she has a large mass that has ruptured and a few others in the same area. The vet shared that when a mass of this size ruptures, the cancer has likely spread to major organs. They were able to get the bleeding to stop, so now it's a waiting game. The worst kind. The mass could rupture again tomorrow or we could get lucky and it could take weeks. Because of her age, we are opting not to do xrays and chemo. One of the hardest parts is knowing what steps to take and when - especially when her mind is great and her demeanor even better.

I just don't get it. Bocci has been doing so good....full of energy and even a bit sassy with demanding more and more treats.

I'm out of town for work and taking the first flight home this morning. If you have a beloved pet, give them an extra hug because you just don't know what tomorrow will bring.

One Year

It just doesn't seem real - that a whole year has disappeared.

Why is it that the "firsts" always get to us? The first month, the first Christmas, the first birthday...the first anniversary. I suppose one way of coping is to mark the milestones and to morn a little deeper on those days so that the days in-between can be a bit easier.

We woke this morning and watched a ton of Bailey videos. I started with the most recent - about 2 days before she passed and worked myself backward to the videos before she fell ill. I wanted to end with happy thoughts and remember the world as it was when Bailey was full of life and healthy.

This afternoon, we hiked with Basil to Bailey's spot on the mountain near our house. It is here that I spent many moments going through the stages of grief. A few short hours after Bailey passed, I hiked up this mountain and found a special spot off the beaten track where I could come to escape. I placed a picture of us under a big rock to protect it from the weather and animals. Over the past year, Mother Nature and the animals have swiped little trinkets left for Bailey. Two things still remain, a cheesy butterfly glow stick and our picture ~ albeit a bit warn from the sun and rain. I cracked a smile today noticing that a sliver of Bailey's hair is still submerged in the frame.


It's amazing that a four-legged creature could capture our hearts like Bailey did. I miss her as much today as the day she left. I hope she knows how much she was and is loved.

XOXO Bailey ~ I love you.

Picture from our visit to Bailey's spot 10/23/10