The Dreadful Day

It's been 4 days and 11 hours since I received that awful call. I was back in Wisconsin with the family when Joe called. He was crying and could barely speak - he said, "It's Bailey, she's still alive, but she has cancer and we need to make a decision." Just hours before, Joe and Bailey were playing in the pool at a friends house. Toward the end of the day, Bailey was standing still in the pool and would not move. When Joe finally got her out of the water she collapsed and he noticed her belly was very bloated.

As it turned out, Bailey's spleen had ruptured due to 2 lesions about golf ball size. She had a third lesion that was about the size of a marble. To Joe and I, there was no "decision" to be made and we instructed the vet to do whatever he could to save her and that money was not an object. I immediately searched for the next flight home while Bailey and Joe prepared for surgery. I'm so thankful that our friend, Kamie, was there with Joe. I'm also forever indebted to Joe for not hesitating to take Bailey to the hospital. We now know that she would have passed away by morning without the care of doctors as her ruptured spleen was squirting blood into her abdomen. She had already lost 2 liters by the time of surgery and a blood transfusion was administered once the spleen was removed. After removing the spleen, the vet (Andy) did a thorough search of Bailey's organs and did not see any visible lesions. While this is obviously great news, Bailey's predicted type of cancer (hemangiosarcoma) is an aggressive blood cancer
with grim hope.

For many reasons, I decided to create a blog for Bailey. First and foremost, to celebrate her life and record all of the special things about her. You see, Bailey is my "Soul Dog" - we have an indescribable bond unlike any I have had with another pet. Part of me feels bad saying that as our other Golden, Bocci, is certainly loved and cherished. But somehow, Bailey is different. As I said, the depth of our relationship cannot be described - my hope is that this blog will be a way for me to attempt to define Bailey and what makes her so very unique. I'm also writing this blog as a way of self-healing. I have not stopped crying since the news of Bailey's cancer and I'm hoping that writing about her, my feelings and our special memories will help me through this difficult time. I also hope that our journey with Bailey will help others who experience this type of sadness and pray that Bailey may inspire others to fight and cure this horrible disease.

As a recap of Bailey's journey thus far, her spleen was removed Saturday, July 25th, 2009 at approximately 9:00pm. The vet sent the spleen along with a biopsy of the liver to the lab for testing. I arrived home at 10:15 the next morning and was able to spend 15 minutes with her. Although a bit groggy, she was recovering well. We went back two other times on Sunday and each visit she seemed a little better. I spent about 1.5 hours with Bailey Monday morning. I was able to get her to eat and we shut the lights off in the exam room so she could rest with me by her side. Joe and I visited a few other times on Monday including spending 2 hours with her and the vet that night. Joe and Andy bonded talking golf, football and Midwestern values. As it turns out, Andy is from Independence, IA - just minutes from where I grew up. Andy is a fantastic vet and the urgent care facilities were top notch. Our room had a comfy couch, blankets and plenty of space to spread out with Bailey.

We visited Bailey again Tuesday morning. Upon entering the exam room she was wincing - something she never does. We were told it was not pain related, but likely anxiety and her desire to go home. I couldn't get her to eat which was different from every other visit. I knew she was homesick and ready to get back to our care. Bailey was finally discharged Tuesday night. She was so excited coming toward us down the hall - as if she knew she was going home. I rode in the back of the SUV with her - she looked so happy and was smiling as Goldens often do. Bocci was super excited to see Bailey and I'm certain confused by all the odd smells. That was quickly ignored once dinner was served (Bocci loves her food). Here is a picture of Bailey on her way home from the hospital.

So today is Thursday - July 30th. I was to travel to NYC today for a week, but that trip was quickly canceled. Bailey is recovering extremely well from the surgery. She's eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom as normal. In fact, she's even tried to do a few "showtimes" which we decided to cut short fearing her staples would come out. Showtime is Bailey's way of being silly - she flops around on the bed, carpet, grass - anywhere she can find. She growls, kicks her legs, covers her eyes and melts our hearts all at the same time. My goal is to get Showtime on video and post to the blog.

We will likely receive the results of the biopsy today. We have been prepared for the worst as the cancer has likely spread to other organs and is microscopic to the eye. We understand the lifespan for dogs with hemangiosarcoma is weeks to 3 months with surgery alone. We've been told and have read that chemo can extend their lifespan to 6 to 9 months. Only 10% with dogs with hemangioscarcoma survive past 1 year. As you can imagine, this breaks our hearts. We had been "preparing" for Bocci to pass on as she is 12 and not in the best shape. It's obvious our Bocci has not missed a meal :) and has bad knees and hips. However, never in a million years did we think our Bailey would be living on borrowed time. At the ripe age of 10, she has so much life left in her. With the exception of the grey around her face, you would never know she was a decade. Her sassy spunk reminds me of a puppy.

I've likely exceeded the recommended number of words for a blog entry - so will continue later with stories of Bailey and the news of her biopsy. We have a meeting with the Oncologist on Friday and understand chemo is a very good option as dogs do not experience the same side effects as humans. We're told they go in and out of the building wagging their tails and are happy as can be. This picture was taken a few hours after Bailey arrived home from the hospital.

My one hope is to be writing this blog a year from now - sharing funny stories of a healthy Bailey who is still blessing us with her presence. Please God, hear my plea and let us keep this precious girl for as long as possible. She is after all, my Soul Dog.