Another month

Tomorrow marks 7. I had a "conversation" with Bailey last night. Told her I was sad as my memories are fading. It used to be that I could see her face when I closed my eyes - now the images are gone and I need to look at pictures or videos. Very sad.

I thank God for Bocci and Basil. Bocci is chugging along and doing fantastic. The ol' girl will be 13 in September, but is healthier now than years past thanks to her thyroid medicine. And Basil - she SO reminds me of Bailey. Similar mannerisms, similar facial structure. There are times I look at her and swear she is a light-colored Bailey.

A few days after Bailey's passing, I called one of those pet psychics. Yeah, I know - super cheesy. But I was hurting so bad and needed something to grab onto. The psychic, Barbara, was recommended by the cancer vet so I thought there may be some validity to her story. Here are my notes from the call - many in shorthand that likely only make sense to me, but I've highlighted a few that seem to stand out.

Very sick – in abdomen and discomfort between liver
Difficult breathing in the end - Pretty uncomfortable - Getting toxic
Would not of had that decision if we waited much longer
Thank you for letting her go – says that her body got sick
Will be back soon
Lifetime bond – wasn’t a dog – stronger than a guardian – maybe human before – her soul keeps coming back
Big change in two – not sure if that meant two months or two years
She won’t be gone long – look in puppy's eyes
It will be a walk in situation – souls can exchange from one to another while waiting to find their "home"
She doesn’t want to stay away long
Very goofy
She has been sick a while - Illness may have started over a year ago
She has a tennis ball in her mouth – pain is gone – legs near the end
She loves us both very much –
Remembers going for runs – walked in the forest
Talked about being part of the marriage ceremony
She liked water
She was pampered - Felt like royalty
Toys - Red with a tail/fuzzy
Before we took her to the vet – she heard you and understood – took it to heart – she will bring some part of her when she comes back that we will recognize
She understood every word – she could feel every feeling
She thinks we are brave
Many differences between her and Bocci – lying near her – she's trying to comfort Bocci
Something about having head on the pillow
She liked to pick on Bocci - teasing
Keep an eye on Bocci
May see her by the first year
Eyes

A good friend of mine, who will always be nameless, talks of her ability to communicate with beings that have passed and/or on their way to passing. I trust her completely as she is not a BS'er. At the same time, I don't know where I stand. Sometimes I believe in reincarnation, others times I think there is no way. My point - if ever there was a chance in reincarnation, then I would feel strongly that Bailey and Basil are one. If not the same soul, than "sisters" for sure as they remind me so much of one another. The red notes above from my reading somewhat "back up" the notion that Bailey could be laying at my feet right now - giving my ankle a bath...only this time, she is much lighter in color and her name is Basil. Who knows, maybe all of this babble is only to make myself feel better. Bailey and I were so close, that if she were permanently gone (as in an angel and not coming back), I would think I would feel her presence by now...

Would love to hear your thoughts - do you believe in angels, reincarnation or something else? In the meantime, raise a toast to Bailey. Wherever she may be...she will always be my girl.