Our sweet Bocci Girl was laid to rest today at 2pm. This ordeal - albeit 10 days - has been pure torture. She was doing so good in the mind and maintained her daily routine of begging for treats with long naps in-between. Unfortunately, the mass was not cooperating and bleeding more each day.
I went back and forth all week on what to do...I kept thinking, "if I found her in pain, I would make the call." That would have been the easy (selfish) way out. Having been through this with Bailey, I didn't want Bocci to get to the point of severe pain and agony - yet, I wanted her to be with me for as long as possible. To think that your beloved animal's life is in your hands in not empowering...it is devastating. I asked God to give me a sign and early this afternoon, he did just that. I knew it was time and I put Bocci in the car. We stopped at McDonald's on the way to get her a Quarter Pounder and French Fries. She enjoyed every bite.
In the end, I wanted her to go with dignity and grace - just as she lived her life. The past few hours I have experienced the many stages of grief and now, I'm back at the first of denial. It just doesn't seem real. I keep thinking she is going to waltz into the bedroom and summon me to the kitchen for her late night snack.
Bocci was such a wonderful companion. She was loyal, patient, loving and funny. She blessed my life for 13 years and I already miss her terribly. She rarely asked for much (except treats) and happily lived in the shadows of Bailey and Basil. She seemed to find joy in their quirkiness and was content just being here. My heart just aches, someone please wake me from this horrible nightmare.
I love you so much, Bocci. I pray that you have found Bailey and that the two of you are running in the fields. Thank you for all the joy that you have brought to my life.
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