Secret Sign

I’m just returning from a trip to NYC for work. It was great to see industry friends and catch up on old times. I was hoping my sadness of Bailey’s passing would not be obvious – that I would be able to put on a happy face and respond to the common question, “how are things” without tearing up. I succeeded with those who I know on a casual basis, but failed with those who know me well. While I wasn’t able to talk about Bailey, I’m sure they knew something was wrong.

I’m in the midst of reading a book by Allison DuBois called, ‘We are their Heaven.’ I’ve always carried a lot of respect for Allison as she seems to be the real thing. Like many, I have thrown money at Psychics/Mediums in the past – primarily for questions about where my life was heading. A few were right on the money with specifics that made me believe. Others, including a “pet communicator” from Ohio who I spoke with two weeks ago, seem to be complete scammers.

A few things have happened since Bailey’s passing that could be interpreted as signs of her visiting me. I’ve gone back and forth on whether they are real or just my imagination…I worry that my overwhelming sadness or my desperate need to feel her presence could be playing tricks on me. I asked (actually begged) Bailey in her last days to be sure and give me signs after she was gone – to show me in some way that she was with me. I asked her to steal ‘mama’s baby’ (a small, stuffed dog I received from Joe a few years ago) and hide it under the bed – just like she used to do. I gave her several ideas that were special between the two of us so I would REALLY know she was around. I have not seen any of my suggested signs, but have one other in particular that sticks out.

The 24 hours leading up to Bailey’s passing are far too painful for me to discuss. But one thing happened after she was laid to rest that is important to associate with my first possible sign. In the moments following Bailey’s passing, I put my face on her neck to hug her and feel her soft fur. Oddly, her neck area was extremely warm – almost hot to the touch and something I have never experienced before. I recall telling Joe that I felt heat radiating off of her – as if a heating pad had been placed on her neck. I found peace in that feeling of heat, but thought nothing else of it until a few hours later when I was heading up our old hiking trail to find Bailey’s special spot. Many will find this odd – and that is ok – but I carried Slimy Baby with me on that hike and every trek since. About half way up the mountain, I felt a strong, radiating heat from my right side where I was carrying Slimy Baby. At first, I chalked it up to the stuffed animal being next to my shirt. The heat sensation lasted for about a minute. Later, it occurred to me that the radiating heat went away almost as quickly as it appeared. Had the heat come from Slimy Baby as I first thought, then wouldn’t it have stayed the remainder of the hike (about 20 more minutes)? Why did it come and go so quickly? Keeping in mind that I was likely still in shock, I don’t think I was “looking” for signs yet. I may never know if that was Bailey or a pure coincidence, but I sure hope it was her. I’ve had a few other possible signs that I will keep private for now, hoping to get confirmation at some point that Bailey was/is with me. When I do, I’ll be sure to share.

Many years ago, my Mom and I came up with a secret word – so that if one of us passed, we could speak with a Medium and know that the other was there. Joe and I also have a secret word and I’d suggest to others to do the same…just in case there is a way to send through special messages from beyond.

Baileyism
Bailey liked to tease me as much as I did her. One of her games was to steal my stuffed animal which we referred to as "mama's baby." Her method was hilarious as she would slowly take the baby off the shelf and tiptoe into the bedroom to hide the stuffed toy. As part of our routine, I would then chase her and say, "that's mama's baby - you give that back!". If I was slow to react, she would prance with mama's baby through the house and run back into the bedroom...as if to say,"look what I have!!" I'd also catch her peering over the bed with my baby in her mouth - just waiting for me to come tickle her. I miss those games.