Humans in Furry Clothes

Fair warning, this is not going to be a pretty or a positive post. It's early morning and what used to be my favorite time of day is now ugly and dark. If you've ever had an incredibly unique and undefinable bond with a fur baby, you may understand the stage of grief I am experiencing right now. If you happen to not be an animal person or look at them as just that - animals - then you may want to skip over this entry.

We've thought about having human kids several times, but it's just never happened. I hope some day it does so I can feel the joy of a child's love. Even if we are so lucky, Bocci, Bailey, Basil and any other puppy that comes into our life will always be thought of as our children. Perhaps it is the way I was raised with my sweet black lab, Susie Q. I remember throwing her birthday parties with several old friends from Facebook. We all treated Susie like she was a little sister. Gosh I miss her.

In our house and in my mind - dogs are equal to humans. Perhaps it's the unconditional love we receive - the non-judgmental, 'I'm always gonna love you' outlook of a pup. I've talked with people who feel that it's not normal to love an animal that much - and that's ok - we are all entitled to our own opinions....I just feel sorry for them as they are missing out on one of the greatest things in life.

I don't know where I'm going with this - I guess I'm rambling. I miss everything about Bailey and have enough marbles left to realize the roller coaster of emotions is me dealing with the loss of my baby girl. One minute I'm ok - the next I'm super sad - then angry - then I'm in tears on the floor. I've started reading a book that will hopefully help.

Oddly, I feel a bit better than when I started this post...this blog really does help. Thanks to anyone who makes it through my crazy, rambling thoughts.

Ok - so I'm going to try and end on a positive note. Tomorrow we bring home sweet Basil - ha, I like that, 'Sweet Basil'. I'm really looking forward to seeing her and holding her tight. She, nor anything else, will ever replace my Bailey - it's just not possible. But, I'm going to love that little Basil and give her a wonderful life. I hope she is ready to be spoiled rotten.

Baileyism
Bailey was never shy about hiding her emotions. If she was excited, you could hear it - if she was sad, you could see it...I guess she takes after me in that way. This video was taken last week - less than 3 days before she passed. She had some much life left to live - so much love left to give. I miss you Bailey.