What to say?

I'm not sure what I should be writing. A million thoughts are racing through my mind and I'm having a really tough time keeping it together. I hope writing here will help. I also wanted to say thank you for the outpouring of notes, phone calls and gestures. Each one helps take a bit of the sting away. Although I don't have the strength to respond to you right now, please know that I appreciate your words of support and encouragement. I'm not going to hide it, they are much needed - so don't give up on me. I knew this day would come and I knew that it would be amazingly hard, but the reality and the finality of it has brought me to my knees.

Bailey - I love you so much. I miss you so much. I know that mornings are going to be the hardest. Mornings were extra special to us. I'd wake and come to the family room to do some work...about 4 to 5 minutes would go by and you would realize I left the bedroom. You'd then do a sleepy prance down the hall - looking at me, wagging your tail and holding a big smile. I would say, "Good morning cutie, cute pea" or "Hi, sugar-pie plum" and you would come to me and put your head on my lap for some love and attention. You would then lay at my feet or jump up on the couch beside me. It was our time - no one in the house was awake....just you and me. I keep looking down the hallway for you to come, but you are not there. I miss our morning conversation. I'd tell you what we were going to do for the day and you would look at me with those big, brown beautiful eyes. I swear it was a two-way conversation.

I want you back - I need you back. I can't stop thinking of you. I'm sad, I'm lonely, I'm mad, I'm confused - but most of all, I'm empty.

A note to friends and followers of Bailey's Blog:
I want to apologize in advance as I'm certain many of my future posts will be rambling thoughts. This blog is an outlet for me - a place where I can go and be close to Bailey, remember her, talk to her, and carry on her existence. I will get back to the Baileyisms and the photos - there are so many more to share. I just don't have the strength right now.